Strange Twitter Humor - “Things Heard in a Goldman Sachs Elevator
A close friend sent me a new Twitter link Called “Things Heard in a Goldman Sachs Elevator."
I don’t know who this guy is, but he has a “different” sense of humor – I picked out a few that I thought were better than most:
Feminists are just ugly underachievers who make the excuse that they're female for their failure.
Still not bad enough for people to Occupy Detroit.
From my experience, most people really should have lower self-esteem.
The Oscars is the Super Bowl for Gays.
If riding the bus doesn't incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
My garbage disposal eats better than 98% of the world.
Why should I respect poor people? We live in a world that rewards achievement.
I don't care how hot she is, dumb is not sexy.
Vegetarians and homos all seem to think the rest of us give a s#!t about what goes in their mouths.
If Robert Kardashian hadn't gotten OJ off, eventually one of his daughters would have.
I never thought about shorting this market here. But now that I'm hearing 'Four more years", I just might.
I never thought we needed a Black History Month, until I noticed how many more racist jokes I hear in February.
Texting is ebonic’s for white kids.
Football is probably the only thing that reminds unemployed people that tomorrow is Monday.
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
One of the biggest problems with today’s society is that we've run out of colonies of send our undesirables to.
It's too bad stupidity isn't painful.
If you're not first in line, you're smelling someone else's ass.
I don't let my kids watch Lady Gaga. She has such a negative message... If you're ugly, you have to dress like a freak.
Jim Cramer is like the Jar Jar Binks of CNBC.
WASP’s kiss their kids on the forehead and their dogs on the mouth.
Chivalry is letting the chick still in your bed sleep in, then giving the doorman $100 to go kick her out in an hour.
She asked for the day off because it's her birthday. #2: What the f&%k. What is she, 12 years old?
The Obama administration has single-handedly revived the layaway industry.
Under Bush, 5% unemployment was a disaster. Under Obama 8.5% is a boom. #2: Affirmative action.
Whenever I see a black guy with my last name, I can't help but wonder if my family used to own his.
Obama is aging fast enough for Morgan Freeman to play him in a movie.
I've hated everyone I've ever met who owns a Prius.
Cigars, watches, wine. I understand that. But Air Jordans? #2: Those people are shoe connoisseurs?
My wife is basically Pay-Per-View.
Diversity, to an Indian, is hiring a Paki.
Groupon… Food stamps for the middle class.
Stereotypes are probably 85-90% accurate.
Flying squirrels must get all the squirrel pussy. Think about that, hotshot.
If you want to die rich, abide by The 3 F's. If it Flys, Floats or F#&%s, rent it, don't buy it.
Being spotted in economy class must be like having your parents visit you at boarding school in a shitty rental car.
I don't care how into the environment she says she is. No chick wants to be picked up in a Chevy Volt.
His hindsight needs LASIK.
I haven't seen a single hot chick protesting outside. That can't be a coincidence. #occupywallstreet
The is a special place in Hell for Paul Krugman. #2: Next to Ted Kennedy, who will forever have a whiskey bottle just out of reach.