Things A Texan will Never Say
Things You'll Never Hear From A Texan:
35. Oh I just couldn't, hell, she's only 16.
34. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
33. Duct tape won't fix that.
32. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
31. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
30. We don't keep firearms in this house.
29. You can't feed that to the dog.
28. I thought Graceland was tacky.
27. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
26. Wrestling's fake.
25. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
24. We're vegetarians.
23. Do you think my gut is too big?
22. Honey, we don't need another dog.
21. Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
20. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
19. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
18. Trim the fat off that steak.
17. Cappuccino tastes better that espresso.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many grams of fat.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad have bean sprouts?
6. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. All of You
2. Thoses shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me, I'm drivin' tonight