Two ROBINS were lying on their backs, BASKING in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking by. The kitten complained, 'Mama, I'm so hungry, what can we eat?' To which the mama cat, spying the two robins, replied,
How about some Baskin Robbins?'
Top Ten Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password
10) E-Mail flames from some guy named 'Fluffy.'
9) Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8) You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
7) Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.feline.com/.
6) Your mouse has teeth marks in it...and a strange aroma of tuna.
5) Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of 'CyberDog.'
4) Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3) You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
2) On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
1) There are little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
Top 10 Signs Your Cat is Planning to Kill You!
1. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
2. Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey's 900 number on your bill.
3. You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
4. You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
5. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
6. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
7. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
Reasons to own a cat over a dog
* Cats rule. Dogs drool.
* Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
* Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.
* Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.
* Why do you think they call it "Dog Breath?"
Cat Lover's Rules:
1. The cat is not allowed in the house.
2. OK, the cat is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. Ok, the cat is allowed in all rooms, but must stay off the furniture.
4. The cat can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the cat is allowed on all the furniture, but it is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. The cat can sleep on the bed, but not under the covers or on the pillow.
7. OK, The cat can sleep under the covers and on the pillow by invitation only.
8. Well, ok, the cat can sleep under the covers every night and on the pillow too.
9. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the cover with the cat; only the cat can sleep on the pillow.