Why Sheep are Better than Women
Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth.
You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear.
Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather.
Cottonmouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease.
Nuttin' beats mutton.
Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel.
Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early.
Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down.
Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them.
No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe.
Sheep are never concerned about their reputation.
Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time you couldn't get it up.
Sheep won't ask if you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the second time.
Sheep never insist on eating out.
You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of Mel Gibson.
Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late.
Sheep don't smell like tuna fish.
Sheep don't get moody once a month.
You can eat a lamb chop without getting wool stuck in your teeth.
A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her life after one roll in the hay.
A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed.
A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon.
A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car.
A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains.
A sheep won't expect you to pay . . . and pay . . . and pay . . . and pay.
A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup.
A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy.
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