It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Scotland version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Scotland.
If you have one of the Scotland editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Scotland edition may be recognised by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDAES 98, Ye Ken, with a background picture of William Wallace superimposed on a St. Andrews Cross.
It is shipped with a Mel Gibson screen saver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is called The Bucket.
My Computer is called Thon Computer Thingie.
Dialup Networking is called Phone the Bhoys.
Control Panel is known as the Dashboard.
Hard Drive is referred to as the tractor.
Floppies are referred to as thae wee plastic disc things.
Instead of an error message you get a windae covered with a picture of a neep.
OK = 'ats fine
cancel = na na ma loon
reset = Och ye'd be as weel startin again
yes = Och aye
no = nae chunce mon
find = if ye'd bothered to pit it past in a safe place, ye widnae need to look for it noo
go to = go'n ower 'ere
back = back the wye
help = geese a haun'
stop = packit in
start = com on 'en
settings = sittins
programs = stuff whit daes stuff
documents = stuff I hive done afore
Also note that windaes 98 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to windaes 98:
Pincil an paper (A word processor)
colourin book (A Graphics program)
addin machine (Calculator)
jukebox (CD player)
photies (A graphics viewer)
Massey (Tractor dealers listed by Post Code)
car (See previous entry)
tax records (usually an empty file)
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Scotland edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.