A 28-year old male was brought into the ER after an attempt-
ed suicide. The man had swallowed several nitroglycerin pills
and a fifth of vodka. When asked about the bruises about his
head and chest he said that they were from him ramming him-
self into the wall in an attempt to make the nitroglycerin
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and
was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of
unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pro-
nounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year
old daughter that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make
it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-
five minutes ago!"
A woman with shortness of breath and who weighed approximate-
ly 500 lbs was dragged into the ER on a tarp by six firemen.
While trying to undress the lady her asthma inhaler fell out
of the folds of her Breast.
The most non-emergent ER visit: A male adolescent came in at
2 a.m. with a complaint of belly button lint.