" Tech Support "
Top 12 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support
12. 'Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy?'
11. '... that's right, not even MacGyver could fix it.'
10. 'So -- what are you wearing?'
9. 'Bummer Duuuuuuuude'
8. 'Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n.'
7. 'Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you're with the FTC'
6. 'We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.'
5. 'I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.'
4. 'In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.'
3. ' Hold on a second....... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!'
2. 'Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.'
and the number 1 thing you don't want to hear from tech support...
1. 'Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney.'