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"NEW" Christmas Carols for America 2001

For the Tailban

There's No Place Like Herat for the Holidays

I'm Dreaming of a Live Christmas

Omar, the One-Eyed Mullah

Jangled Nerves

O Little Town of Kandahar

Not So Silent Night

(The Jets) Came Upon a Midnight Clear

O Tannen-bomb

Go Tell it Under the Mountain

Asleep in a bunker, no sleep for Saddam…

Fleck the Walls with Sows of Tali

Have Yourselves a Scary Little Christmas

B-52's We Have Heard on High

Do You Hear What I Hear? (DUCK!)

I'm Screaming of a Fright Christmas

Slay Ride

I Saw 'Sama Kiss his Rear Goodbye…

Oh Holy S---

The sky above is blinding

It is the night that our cave will explode

"Omar, the One-Eyed Mullah"

I'll Be Loam for Christmas

Over the mountains and through the caves, to Al Queda's yurt we go

I'm dreaming of some Red Poppies

Feliz Jalabad

Omar, the one-eyed mullah
Had a very tiny brain
And if you ever saw him
You would think he'd gone insane.

All of the other imams
Used to laugh and call him names.
They'd never let poor Omar
Join in their buzkashi games.

Then one hajj in Al-Makah
Allah came to say
"Omar, scholar of Qu'ran
Won't you run Afghanistan?"

Then all the Afghans feared him
As he shouted out with glee
"Omar, the one-eyed mullah
Will make Islamic history!"




Other Non PC Carols

"Rudolph, the Nasally Challenged Reindeer..."
Don we now our gay/lesbian/transgendered apparel...

Tis the season to overcome our Seasonal Affectation Disorder, but we shouldn't be stigmatized if we are unable to do so, and we should get more funding to look into mental health issues.

Chestnuts roasting on a death trap waiting to happen, exposing our children to carcinogens.

I am dreaming of a non-colored christmas.

I saw Grandma sexually harassed by Santa Claus under the X-mas tree last night and filed a report with the human rights commission.

A Clinton (Crime) Family Christmas Special ...

"How Still We See Thee Lie"

Chestnuts roasting on a properly constructed and contained fire made with well-aged, windfall wood, gathered from widely scattered locations, in keeping with the Leave No Trace (TM) philosophy...
 






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