Search

Search Type:

Today's News and Humor
Slow Food Vs. Fast Food - A Fun Way To Grow Up!
Trump's Secretary Of Defense - Marine Corp General "Mad Dog" Mattis - 7 Best Quotes
Cops: Salvation Army Volunteer Exposed Himself
The People Who Think They Run The Country And Just Which Newspapers They READ!
10 Russian KGB Secret Operations - These Guys Were NASTY!



Special Images and Pictures
SOP - B - OLDE MOVIES - MOVIE STARS - SILENT FILMS - STARLETS - MUSICIANS
SOP - D - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - FREAKS - ENTERTAINMENT
SOP - B - WORLD WAR TWO - WWII - TROOPS - BATTLES - EQUIPMENT - ALLIES - UNITED STATES - ENGLAND - RUSSIA
SOP - A - OLDE VEHICLES - CARS & TRUCKS 1900 - 1940
SOP - F - OLDE GHOST PICTURES - UFO'S - STRANGE EERIE ITEMS - MYSTERIES


Strange Survey
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NATIONAL PARK OR AREA IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES TO VISIT?
 NEW ENGLAND
 NEW YORK CITY
 NORTHERN CALIFORNIA - SFO - NAPA
 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
 TEXAS AND THE SOUTH
 THE BEACHES OF FLORIDA
 THE GRAND CANYON!
 THE LAKES OF THE MIDWEST
 THE NORTHWEST
 YELLOWSTONE PARK
 
View Previous Surveys





- A Whole Bunch of Christmas Quickies!

Christmas Jokes


When you stop believing in Santa Claus
is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.


A Christmas Gift

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"



Signs of Christmas Everywhere

Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."

Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."

Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."

At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale.
Come in and mangle with the crowd."

A Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000.
Three for $200,000.

A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."

In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything...
a calendar to remind him when payments are due."


A sign of the 90's

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"


Santa Stats

There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)

December is the most popular month for nose jobs.

Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.

Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s
sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.

Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.

To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.

At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.


Do You Know Santa's True Profession???

Consider the following:

1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."
2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.
3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers
to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits
with the work.
4. Santa doesn't work anywhere near a 40 hour week.
5. Santa travels a lot.

Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!



At Grandma's



Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"


Christmas Fireman

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
"See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"



The 12 Nights of Christmas;
for the Scrooge in Thee


Chorus: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is
ONE: Finding a Christmas tree.
****

TWO
----
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is my
[Husband]: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


THREE
------
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Inebriated man]: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


FOUR
-----
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Frustrated man]: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

FIVE
-----
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


SIX
---
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Frustrated wife]: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up these lights,
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.
****

SEVEN
------
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Angry man]: The Salvation Army,
6: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez!
2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


EIGHT
-----
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Loud kid]: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!
7: Charities
6: And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, making out these cards,
3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
2: What? We have no extension cords?!?
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.
****

NINE
----
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Another frustrated man]: No parking spaces, 8: DADDY, I WANT SOME
CANDY!!
7: Donations!
6: Facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

TEN
----
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[Toy-commercial voice]: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

ELEVEN
-------
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[TV Critic]: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking spaces,
8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
7: Charities!!
6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.


TWELVE
------
The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
[A few guys]: Singing Christmas Carols,
11: Stale TV specials,
10: "Batteries not included",
9: No parking?
8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
7: Charities!
6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s,
4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
3: Shut up, you!
2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

An Axe to Grind

A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't
want to pay for it."

But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining,
he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house.
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down so fast?" his son asks.

"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.
"I got it at a tree lot."

"Then why did you bring an axe?"

"Because I didn't want to pay."
 






The Strange Family




© 2017 StrangeCosmos.com
Read our Privacy Policy

StrangeCosmos.com StrangeVehicles.com StrangeZoo.com StrangePolitics.com StrangePersons.com
StrangeSports.com StrangeCelebrities.com StrangeMilitary.com StrangeDangers.com StrangePolice.com
StrangeBusiness.com StrangeFunKidz.com StrangeTravel.com StrangeAmericans.com StrangeFarmer.com
StrangeCollege.com StrangeOldePictures.com StrangeRacer.com StrangeBlondes.com StrangeGolf.com
StrangeVacations.com StrangeFunVideos.com StrangeMedical.com    

Disclaimer: We do our best to avoid copyrighted material. If anything on this site has been copyrighted by you, please contact us so we can remove it or give you credit!