Search

Search Type:

Today's News and Humor
Slow Food Vs. Fast Food - A Fun Way To Grow Up!
Trump's Secretary Of Defense - Marine Corp General "Mad Dog" Mattis - 7 Best Quotes
Cops: Salvation Army Volunteer Exposed Himself
The People Who Think They Run The Country And Just Which Newspapers They READ!
10 Russian KGB Secret Operations - These Guys Were NASTY!



Special Images and Pictures
SOP - B - OLDE MOVIES - MOVIE STARS - SILENT FILMS - STARLETS - MUSICIANS
SOP - D - CIRCUS ACTS - VAUDEVILLE - FREAKS - ENTERTAINMENT
SOP - B - WORLD WAR TWO - WWII - TROOPS - BATTLES - EQUIPMENT - ALLIES - UNITED STATES - ENGLAND - RUSSIA
SOP - A - OLDE VEHICLES - CARS & TRUCKS 1900 - 1940
SOP - F - OLDE GHOST PICTURES - UFO'S - STRANGE EERIE ITEMS - MYSTERIES


Strange Survey
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NATIONAL PARK OR AREA IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES TO VISIT?
 NEW ENGLAND
 NEW YORK CITY
 NORTHERN CALIFORNIA - SFO - NAPA
 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
 TEXAS AND THE SOUTH
 THE BEACHES OF FLORIDA
 THE GRAND CANYON!
 THE LAKES OF THE MIDWEST
 THE NORTHWEST
 YELLOWSTONE PARK
 
View Previous Surveys





- Notes From an Inexperienced Chili Taster

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

"Recently I was honored to be selected as an outstanding Famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy sh1t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh1t-faced.

Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for Fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300lb. b1tch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. F@#k those rednecks!

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a f@#king grenade in my mouth, pull the f@#king pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my f@#king mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh1t to match my goddamn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. F@#k it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the f@#king 4 inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make. Poor Yank.

FRANK:
(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

Submitted by Alex in the UK
 






The Strange Family




© 2017 StrangeCosmos.com
Read our Privacy Policy

StrangeCosmos.com StrangeVehicles.com StrangeZoo.com StrangePolitics.com StrangePersons.com
StrangeSports.com StrangeCelebrities.com StrangeMilitary.com StrangeDangers.com StrangePolice.com
StrangeBusiness.com StrangeFunKidz.com StrangeTravel.com StrangeAmericans.com StrangeFarmer.com
StrangeCollege.com StrangeOldePictures.com StrangeRacer.com StrangeBlondes.com StrangeGolf.com
StrangeVacations.com StrangeFunVideos.com StrangeMedical.com    

Disclaimer: We do our best to avoid copyrighted material. If anything on this site has been copyrighted by you, please contact us so we can remove it or give you credit!