Horrible Holiday Puns
One morning a Moscow, a man looked out the window of his dacha, and said to his wife, "Olga, dear, it's raining." She then looked out the window, and said, "No, Rudolf darling, I think that is sleet." To which he indignantly replied, "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"
A woman called her insurance company to see if her policy covered psychiatric treatment. After reviewing her policy, the agent told her, "Yes, Virginia, there is an insanity clause!"
A middle aged man was at the dentist having his dentures examined. They were in pretty bad shape, and the teeth were starting to fall out. The dentist asked him what he had been eating. The man told him, "I have eggs Benedict every morning for breakfast." "Oh," said the dentist, "there's your trouble.
The acid of the hollandaise sauce is corroding your denture plate."
"But I like eggs Benedict, and I don't want to give it up."
"That won't be necessary. I'll just make you a new set out of chrome, because, as everyone knows, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"
Submitted by Big Jim