Football Fan To The Rescue
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young New England Patriots Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Patriots fan," the little hero replies.
"Sorry, since we are in the Northeast, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.
"Little New York Giants Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.
"I'm not a Giants fan either," the boy says.
"I assumed everyone in New England was either for the Patriots or Giants. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.
"I'm a Carolina Panters fan," the child says.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".